Psychosis and You

As I stare at the blank page, cursor blinking in undaunted preparation, I consider all the things that could possibly fill up a page. A story, a song, an idea to change the world. It's amazing what sort of things one could write on a page. Just a simple page, nothing more and nothing less. But I digress. Today's topic for conversation is Mental Illness. Specifically depression and Schizophrenia. As someone who suffers both I can tell you its no cake walk. Not to mention the preconceived notions that follow being schizo.

The majority of people think of schizophrenia when they think about mental illness and what they picture is often a deranged person mumbling nonsense to themselves. While there are times when I feel like this, there are also times when I am totally normal. What I want the general public to understand is that I am more than my illness and so are others who suffer from mental illness's. On top of that, I want people to recognize mental illness for what it is. An illness. That even though it's not like a broken bone, you can't physically see mental illness, it can still be just as detrimental to everyday life.

http://www.123rf.com/photo_16609175_abstract-word-cloud-for-disorganized-schizophrenia-with-related-tags-and-terms.html

Take my life for example. I have a hard time holding down a job. This is due to high-stress levels and the need to keep my stress at a minimum to avoid psychotic episodes. I can't work high stress or really any stress job. This puts me in an awkward category, as all my friends have jobs and work for a living. I am on the outside, unable to hold down a steady job at the moment and unable to care for myself. This is a hard concept to explain to people who ask me why I don't work or why my boyfriend has to do all the work. People don't seem to understand that my mental illness bars me from doing day to day tasks that they find simple. I can't carry on very good conversations with people but my vocabulary is vast and my syntax is on par with most college graduates. The problem is, my brain simply works differently. Communication in the verbal sense is a constant struggle for me. To the point of social anxiety. I don't often speak to people when out in public because it can be hard to understand my peculiar way of communicating. Those who know me well have adapted and see nothing wrong with my speech patterns and thoughts. But someone on the outside might see me as a less intelligent individual due to my need for long pauses to gather my thoughts or the strange way I sometimes arrange them. This is just one small problem I face on a daily basis that makes it next to impossible to do something as simple as holding down a job.

I want to continue to talk about the ins and outs of mental illnesses like mine. So look forward to getting a few more blogs like this one!

Dark Dreams Kiddies

Kasper Addams